Depending on my mood I call my car, ‘Carriage of Delights,’ ‘Death Chariot,’ ‘CRV Enterprise,’ ‘The Doobie Room,’ or AQR 347. I remember some time ago I hired a floor sander. I had to bring it home on the back seat because the handle poked up awkwardly and wouldn’t let me close the boot and I’d already had words on a couple of occasions with the highway patrol from a while back when I got suckered into driving my mother-in-law to the shops once a week and she insisted I leave the boot lid up so she could breathe. Anyway, I noticed that with the big floor sander on the back seat the ride was just incredibly smooth and I hired the thing for an extra week because I was enjoying the new road-holding capabilities so much. Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, ‘Well why didn’t the idiot just buy one of his own?’ Well, the things cost over $1700.00 and I’m not going to pay that sort of money just to stop my stupid car sliding around the place like a bastard every time it goes around a corner. No way.